Angry Mother Effect on Child: A Complete Guide!
Parents, around the globe, get angry on their kids from time to time. However, it is important to control that anger. This is because an angry mother effect on child tend to be quite harsh and damaging.
In this article, we’ll discuss the different effects that are caused by an angry mother on her child/children. We’ll also discuss some strategies to cope with such anger issues!
A Mother-Child Bond!
Right from conception, a mother shares a unique and deep relation with her child. She changes her entire lifestyle for her unborn baby. After birth, she becomes even more attentive towards the life, health and needs of her baby. I have seen many mothers studying different articles, asking for suggestions and trying different things for their babies.
This relation tends to get stronger with the passage of time. Although fathers are also very important, but the bond between a mother and a child is just beyond words. This is also the reason that kids feel the emotions of mothers more deeply.
Angry Mother Effect on Child
Parents are the role models for kids. They learn directly from their parents. In fact, the words of the parents do not have that much impact on the kids as their actions. This is especially true when it comes to the mothers. Mostly children spend more time with mothers as compared to fathers. That is why, they are impacted more by the personality and behavior of the mother.
Most of the parents believe that if the children will fear them, they’ll listen to them too. This is not the actual reality. Anger scares the child but it doesn’t make them obedient. Instead, children develop a sense of insecurity and detachment towards their parents. An angry parent affects the mental, emotional, psychological and even physical health of the child in an adverse manner. Some of the major effects are as under:
1. The child starts feeling insecure
Mother is the primary caregiver of a child. The love and attachment that a mother shares with her child can never be replaced by any other individual on this earth. Mothers are like the secure grounds for children. Whenever they feel any threat from their environment, children run immediately towards their mothers. They are like a safe haven for the children.
Now, what do you think the child will feel when that safe haven becomes the threat itself. Mothers having a short temperament make their children insecure. They become enclosed in their own shells. They start thinking that this world is not the right place for them. This insecurity further leads to issues in their personal and social lives as well.
2. Communication gap occurs between the child and the world
An angry mother leads to huge communication gap between her and her child. When the child hides in a shell, he no longer talks with the mother and gradually with everyone. Such children stop sharing their opinions and thoughts. As a result, more and more misunderstandings develop. One party’s anger and other party’s lack of communication create a bridge that lingers on even during the adult years of the child.
Parents who direct their own anger towards their children lead to serious negative effects in terms of communication. The children can no longer lead a stress free life. Family is very important for a child. Therefore, children may feel disconnected when they cannot communicate with the family members effectively. Angry feelings of the mother further make things difficult and negative relationships develop.
3. The child becomes aggressive too
Aggressive mothers make their children aggressive as well. Parental anger has severe effects on children. Such children tend to become indifferent towards situations and people. They stop caring about the feelings of others. A specific aggression keeps on accumulating and then the angry outbursts becomes even more worse. For example, school bullying can be an outcome of an aggressive family background.
4. Child cannot manage his/her own anger
A child who has an angry mother develops problems in managing his or her emotions as well. He understands that anger is the only way to express oneself. Therefore, he also starts using this sole emotion in every situation. With the passage of time, he starts behaving in negative manners towards his parents as well.
Such children tend to face anger management issues throughout their lives. This even worsens their adult life experiences and relationships as well. They never rely on healthy ways of coping with conflicts. Anger becomes an integral part of their personalities and emotions. Their daily life activities face troubles as well.
5. The child develops mental health conditions
Anger (both physical and verbal) is highly harmful for the child. Children who have angry mothers usually develop mild to severe psychological issues. Stress, anxiety disorders and depression are some of the common psychological problems that such children face. Antisocial behavior, relationship issues and many other mental health problems also occur quite commonly. This is the main reason that mental health practitioners check for aggressive family history when an adult having a mental illness comes to them.
6. Feelings of worthlessness and inferiority arise in child
An angry mother effect on child is not limited to physical abuse only. It also includes verbal anger. Some parents think that verbal abuse is not as dangerous as physical is. However, verbal abuse damages the mental strength of the child the most. When parents (especially mothers) verbally abuse the children, they start developing feelings of worthlessness and low self esteem.
Such children start believing that everything is really their fault. They feel inferior to everyone around them. This anger is the main reason that such children do not work well in their schools as well. The feelings of worthlessness spread and cover every aspect of their lives.
7. Angry parents affect the adult life of child badly
Having a past experience of an angry mother or angry parents, children do not grow into normal adults. They suffer from severe trauma even during their adult years. The hidden anger experiences unconsciously drive these children to become angry adults as well. This affects their overall lives. The do not adjust normally around their societies. Even in the late adulthood, they keep exhibiting such harmful outcomes.
8. Physical health of the child is deteriorated
When a child continuously experiences anger from the mother, his physical health is also affected. This is a very bad angry mother effect on child. This is also true for both physical and verbal anger. Children usually stop eating. Their sleeping is disturbed. Constant fear keeps their blood pressure and heart beat abnormal.
This clearly shows that an angry parent affects both the emotional development and physical development of the child. Parents who shame children are indulging in a form of emotional abuse. Anger never leads to positive discipline. In fact, it leads to anger issues that are far more severe and troublesome.
Why Mothers get Angry?
Parents, especially mothers, get angry due to different reasons. In fact, different situations act differently for different people. Some parents get angry in a given situation, while some may not. It also depends on the personality traits of people in general. Anger is a natural emotion. The thing to keep in mind is that always keep your anger under control. In this way the angry mother effect on child can be controlled.
1. Unrealistic expectations from the child
The primary reason for the parents’ anger is their unrealistic expectations that they develop for their kids. Kids will always be kids. Parents need to understand this aspect. If they do so, majority of their problems will get solved.
2. Dealing with a lot at a time
Sometimes mothers have to deal with a lot of stuff. They may be doing a job. Along with the job, they have to look after the house and the family too. They may have social commitments as well.
They may not be able to take enough sleep or enjoy some fresh air. All this leads to a feeling of being overwhelmed. As a result, even a slight trigger can cause mom rage instantly.
3. Anger is a dominant personality trait
As discussed before, some people tend to be angry by nature. Anger is an integral part of their personalities. Therefore, they deal with most of the situations in an angry way.
4. A lingering childhood trauma causes anger
This is also a very common reason for being angry. An unresolved traumatic experience from the childhood of the mother makes her angry and impatient.
How to Control your Anger as a Mother?
It is highly crucial to control your anger if you are a parent. It is even more important if you are a mother. This is because children absorb the emotions that are being imposed on them. As mothers spent most of the time with the children, therefore they should use every technique to overcome their anger. Some strategies and techniques that can help a mother control her anger are as under:
1. Understand your signs of anger
This is a general step that every human can use. Understanding your signs of anger can help you control your anger right at the first stage. Different people have different initial signs that show they are getting angry. For example;
- Grinding teeth.
- Tightening in the stomach.
- Rapid breathing.
- Increased Heartbeats.
2. Take a time-out
When you feel your anger rising, take a few minutes to yourself to calm down. This can be done by taking some deep breaths, walking away from the situation, or listening to calming music. This will ease the hurt that you are feeling. Your bad mood will also be reverted.
You can also ask your child to go somewhere else until your anger subsides. Taking a warm shower can also help a lot in relaxing the body.
3. Talk it Out
Once you’ve calmed down, try to talk to the person or people who angered you. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly about what made you angry and how they can help avoid similar situations in the future. Being parents, it is important that you talk out with your children.
You should tell them about the reasons that you got angry. However, you should also apologize for your anger to them. This will teach them to follow in your footsteps throughout their lives.
4. Be proactive
Try to identify triggers that make you angry and find ways to avoid them. This might involve creating a positive distraction for yourself when you know you’ll be in a trigger situation, or communicating with people ahead of time about your triggers and how they can help avoid them.
5. Be Assertive
It’s important to be able to express your anger in a healthy way. This means being able to articulate what you’re feeling and why, without resorting to aggression or violence. When dealing with kids, assertiveness can prove to be highly beneficial for the parents, especially the mothers. A parent is a role model for the child. When you’ll show assertiveness, children may also learn assertiveness and not aggressiveness.
6. Seek professional help
If you find that you’re struggling to control your anger, it might be helpful to seek help. Wellness professionals can teach you more strategies for coping when you feel angry, and can help you identify any underlying causes that might be contributing to your anger.
Healthline media websites are also available and accessible for anger management issues. Research has also been going on in this field and there are bulk of peer reviewed studies on this area. Parents can take help from such domains.
7. Take help from books
If you are having anger issues and want to deal with them so that your children do get affected by your anger, give a try to the following books. They are very good at dealing with anger issues:
- Anger Management for Parents.
- Angry Parent Angry Child.
- Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids.
- How to Deal with Anger and Avoid Acting on Impulse.
- Angry Parents No More!
All in all, angry mother effect on child tends to last throughout the life of the child. Therefore, it is highly important to focus on this domain right from the beginning.
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