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Why Does My Teenage Daughter Hate Me? An Exclusive Analysis

Why Does My Teenage Daughter Hate Me? An Exclusive Analysis

A person who is between the age of 13-19 is called a teenager. Parenting a teenage girl is not easy at all. She wants to take control of her feelings, emotions, and decisions. Most of the parents want to know why does my teenage daughter hate me? She perceives the care of parents as parental stress, which becomes the main cause of hate.

In this blog, a detailed analysis would be done of why does my teenage daughter hate me? We will also discuss some major issues and their solutions.

A teenage girl feels that she is mature enough. She can make her own decisions, but parents especially mothers do not want them to get hurt. Because parents believe that a teenage girl is not experienced enough. She cannot make rational decisions. Sometimes such quick decisions can be harmful and negative.

Understand the Core Cause of Hate

So many changes are taking place in your teenage girl. Her body, hormones, choices, personality, friendships, moods, and goals are changing. She is experiencing a bulk of change from head to toe. She never felt so before in her life. All these changes are also affecting her physique, emotions, and intellectual skills. She becomes a victim of confusion and uncertainty.

The resulting behavior due to all these changes can be totally unexpected and challenging. She needs the attention of her family but does not want any restrictions or pressure. A teenage girl is full of energy and is not able to see the long-term effects of her dealings. Such swift decisions can spoil her career and personality.

Moreover, she wants to spend more time with friends. But her parents want her to stay at home. So, that they can observe her and feel that she is safe. She strives for independence. She feels that now she is a big girl and does not need any guidance like a kid. The feelings of being mature and knowledgeable can result in disastrous endings. Such feelings force a teenage girl to act disrespectfully and show rebellious behavior. For her, the care of her parents is a parental pressure and she reacts negatively to it.

Teaching Discipline Can Cause Hate

Every parent wants to see their kids well-mannered and well-disciplined. Teaching it to a teenage girl is a roller coaster ride. I’ve personally observed when mothers ask their daughters to maintain discipline girls show attitude. A teenage girl was a child right before a few months so she shows disorganization in different areas of her life.

Her room can be messy and her wardrobe can be topsy-turvy. She can ignore the deadlines of her assignment. Parents want their daughter to learn discipline so she takes her responsibility. She must learn control over her extreme emotions. She lacks self-control and emotional control. And parents want to see her with good management of her feelings and behavior.

Whereas a teenage girl feels she is a young girl now. Whatever she is doing is perfectly alright. She does not like any interruption from anyone either siblings or parents. If parents are looking for the answer to why does my teenage daughter hate me? So, the answer is teaching her discipline is also a cause of hate.

Conflicts Over the Dining Table

Mothers want to see their daughters healthy and full of life. They know very well that a girl needs to be strong enough. Because she has to deal with so many things in her life with the same body. She has to study a lot to get good grades. If she is interested to pursue a career she needs power. She has to fight with society. Above all, she has to get married and will become a mother. And delivering a baby demands a really powerful body.

All these things demand a strong mind and the body. Therefore, a mother forces her daughter to follow a healthy pattern of food intake. She wants her daughter, not to miss any meal. She wants that her daughter must eat a healthy and complete diet. On the other hand, a teenage girl likes to eat junk food like chips, burgers, pizza, etc. Though these foods are delicious and fill the tummy. But if we have a look at the nutritional factors these foods are giving nothing to the body.

A mother-daughter conversation trying to understand why does my teenage daughter hate me.
A mother is explaining the benefits of healthy food to her daughter.

So, most of the conflicts take place over the dining table. The mother asks her daughter to eat healthily but she relies on junk food. She wants her teenage girl not to miss any meal of the day. But she ignores it while keeping herself busy with friends or studies. Mothers want their daughters to eat healthy food and store power. This power will help them in the future.

Moreover, a teenage girl wants to look smart this is why she prefers a strict diet. She misses the meals intentionally to meet the so-called criteria of the society of a beautiful girl. She thinks that if she is skinny or slim society will appreciate her and consider her beautiful. And she does not like the force which is full of love and care from her mother. This is the reply to all the mothers over there asking why does my teenage daughter hate me?

Does useless favor from family and fathers cause hate?

Mothers are considered the primary caregiver for the kids. They have to take care of all the things of their children. Mothers have to maintain homes, food, clothes, cleaning, washing, etc. They also have to keep a deep look at the personality development and grooming, especially of girls. For this purpose, they have to get rude and strict as well.

Meanwhile, the mother gets strict purposely, to teach a lesson, the family does interrupt. Especially fathers they become sensitive, oh my daughter is being scolded. And they stop mothers from doing so. This interruption explains to a teenage girl that my family and father are my well-wishers. Whereas my mother is my enemy. This is another reason, why does my teenage daughter hate me?

Family Conflicts Cause Hate

I’ve observed that most of the family conflicts take place in front of kids. Parents also start arguing in front of kids. This is not a good practice at all. A teenage girl is already dealing with her physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. She can not cope with such conflicts. She starts thinking that my parents are full of issues and she is afraid to become a broken family.

Such a family setup and circumstances make her aggressive. She gets irritated whenever she sees family conflicts or parental conflicts. As a result, she also starts making issues to grasp attention. And she feels easy and enjoys spending time with her friends and class-fellows. She starts avoiding her parents and feels relaxed. So, family conflicts could be another motive behind her hate.

Request for the Balance of Expenditure Cause Hate

As teenage is an era of energy, a teenager feels she is right in her dealings. A teenage girl has to do whatever she wants. She spends money without thinking about the future. She wastes things and ignores the emotions of her own people. Sometimes she sees taking responsibility as a big hurdle in her ease. Parents think about the future a lot and they try to teach her balance of expenditure.

They ask her to turn off the useless lights and don’t waste electricity. Sometimes they tell her the benefits of not wasting water. They also try to teach her to save money for the future and not to waste food etc. All these things irritate her a lot. She does not want to understand the deep thinking behind all these things.

In contrast, she cultivates negative feelings about her family and parents. She thinks these are restrictions. These are hurdles in the way of her happiness. This is another answer to why does my teenage daughter hate me.

How to convert hate into love?

After discussing the reasons why does my teenage daughter hate me, let’s sort out solutions.

Maintain A Reciprocal Relationship

Parents should not enforce things on their teenage daughters. They should maintain a give and take relationship. Sometimes they listen to their daughter. And the other time daughter should understand her parent’s feelings and emotions. They must adopt an authoritative parenting style. Such style can help a lot to maintain a positive relationship.

Parents Must Understand the Generation Gap

The generation gap is obvious. It is necessary to understand it and act accordingly. Because the trends, fashions, dresses, and hairstyles change with the passage of time. Parents can not force their own time rules on their daughters. If a teenage girl spends time with the gadgets and friends, allow her but with some set rules. Define some limits in a friendly atmosphere and ask her to follow them.

Communicate Your Reservations

In an easy environment talk to her. This will tell you why does my teenage daughter hate me? Communicate with her why you take so much care of her. The things which we ask you to do define our love not the use of power. If you are worried about her company then meet her friends. And tell her choosing friends wisely is best for her future.

Talk to her that we know changes are happening in your body. We understand, that you are full of energy. But still, we supervise you to protect you from any kind of harm. In this way, you can convert her hate into love.

Give Her Chance

Sometimes, give your daughter a chance to make mistake. It will help her to learn and grow. She will understand that my parents are right and I’ve to listen to them.

Celeberate Her

It is a wonderful practice to celebrate her little achievements.

Celebrate her to negate why does my teenage daughter hate me
Parents showing love to their teenage daughter.

Make her feel special. Show her that she means a lot to you. This feeling will bound her to obey you. She will listen and follow your instructions happily.


The purpose of this article is to find out why does my teenage daughter hate me. This article is a detailed answer to all the queries related to it. The only solution available is to understand her and expect the same from her. This will help to abolish the negativity and the love will take over. Look after a teenage girl with love and care. Stay calm if she misbehaves and discuss it with her once she gets relaxed.

Keep talking to her, do not let the silence build barriers between you and your daughter. Allow her to have some personal time. But set some boundaries and keep them firm. Maintain light humor with her and show empathy. All these steps will help a lot to sustain a positive relationship with her. As a result, she will talk about every issue with you confidently.

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About The Author

Qurratulain Nabeel

This is QURRATULAIN - an M.Phil in Applied Psychology. Being a mother of two I tried to put my knowledge into practice, which proved very beneficial for me. By using the platform of I am so pleased to share my experience with people all around the world.

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